Re: [timewitnesses] Do you remember

From: Mettalaw@aol.com
Date: Wed Nov 28 2001 - 12:00:31 PST


I remember...my kidhood felt like what you describe.

But I also remember how confident we were that our ethnocentric, egocentric, 
anthropocentric and linear view of ourselves as the masters of progress led 
us into blunder after blunder.

I remember my father killing rabbits at dawn around our private camping 
spot---just for fun.  One morning he almost got me by mistake.

I remember how we torpoedoed big juice cans in the lake with the .22.  The 
jagged metal and the lead shot is probably still on the lake bottom.

I remember the walls of trash along Alberta highways, because nobody had 
thought about littering.

I remember garages full of enough DDT to kill a small city.  

I remember nuclear testing, the hype about how nuclear power was going to 
give us lives of endless ease, and the shock at finding strontium 90 in 
mothers' milk.

My body remembers having to smoke my father's cigars, second-hand---I'm 
waiting for the bill for that one to come in one of these days.  

I remember the ugly little girl in Grade One who was shunned because she was 
incontinent and wore inferior clothes.  I remember polio, and Leah, my plump 
classmate who mysteriously disappeared from Grade Five, to return for just a 
day visit months later, scrawny in the last stages of cancer.  I remember the 
15-year-old who was flown to Europe to abort the child of her English teacher 
and who eventually committed suicide, yet he never suffered so much as a 
complaint against him.  I remember the Governor-General's award-winner in my 
class, who killed himself at nineteen after what he saw on his summer job in 
the far north.  Had they been born a few decades later, each of these people 
would have found more help, enough, perhaps, to live on.

I remember the Cuba crisis: having to hunch under our useless desks in 
twice-weekly school drills and trying to decide what I cared about enough to 
pack into the little satchel each of us was allowed in our emergency 
nuclear-fallout shelter.

I remember "history" books all about what white men did, the wars they fought 
and the politics they thought up, books without women or people of color or 
the Earth in them.

Life was pretty nice for us, true.  We were the best off people on Earth.  We 
were also blind about the effects of our actions and the needs of others.

Sometimes I think my generation is all about curing tunnel vision.   Our 
vision is now wide enough to take in all three ladies, Wisdom and her usual 
companions, Pain and Loss.  It didn't come easy, and there's at least another 
mile to walk in these uncomfortable moccasins before we can say that we truly 
see our places in the world.

Sorry if this is a downer, but I had to say it.  In spite of my longing for 
the spcious world of trust, friendliness, and community we both remember, I 
remember only too well the deficiencies that bring the tears to memory.

Eva

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