>X-POP3-Rcpt: elders@hawk > >+++ >TRUE STORY >Some commandos were training in 1942, before going overseas, on the lands of >the Earl of Glasgow in Ayrshire. On their final day the Earl invited the >officers to lunch with him. He was a wonderful old boy, a great host, and >although nearly 70 he was quite lively. > >The CO spoke to him in the morning of how kind he had been, how much they had >enjoyed the training, etc, and asked if there was anything they could do for >him before they left. The old chap thought a bit and then suggested that they >might remove an old tree that was a bit of an eyesore. > >The CO looked at it. It was big, about 700 years old, and it was dead. Then >he said, "Well, Sir, we'll just blow it up. We'll do it after lunch." > >In the First World War the Earl had been a Captain, RN (and won a DSO), so he >knew enough about explosives not to trust the army, but the CO assured him >there was nothing to worry about and that, of course, the young plantation >alongside the ancient tree would not be hurt. > >The CO then called for the Sar'nt Major and asked him to set the charge for the >tree to be blown up after lunch. > >It was a good lunch, despite the war, because the estate could supply salmon >and venison, and the Earl kept a great cellar. It was a very good lunch. (I >heard the story from the Earl's granddaughter, who told me they still talk >about that lunch.) > >After the fish the CO asked the youngest officer present to go out and check >that the Sar'nt Major had used enough explosive, and to be on the safe side, >because he wanted the job done properly, to double it. > >It was a very good lunch. After the venison the CO asked the same young >officer to check the charge with the Sar'nt Major and to double it to make >sure. > >It was, as I may have said, a very good lunch. After the pudding the CO asked >for the charge to be checked again and, to be safe, to be doubled. > >After the cheese and port the party ambled outside to witness the display of >British firepower. > >The Earl asked if there was any possibility that the young plantation might be >damaged, but as he was Royal Navy and obviously knew nothing about explosives, >the CO gently reassured him. > >In the postwar squabbles about who had first begun the space age, the German V2 >rocket lost out to Glasgow's ballistic oak tree, beaten by two full years. > >The Earl took it like a naval gentleman (and you, Bill, know what that means). >He thanked the CO, cast one glance across his shrivelled plantation, and >staggered towards the cracked facade and broken windows of his great house. He >stumbled into the hall, entered the lavatory, closed the door and sat down on >the seat. > >Then the ceiling fell in on him. > >The commandos departed quickly for their operations overseas. It was safer. > >But you mustn't blame the lunch. The Sar'nt Major hadn't been at the lunch, >and it was the Sar'nt Major who'd got his decimal point in the wrong place >before the wine multiplied his ten-fold mistake eight-fold. > > ================================== Adrian Cope. "Aequo Adeste Animo" <elders@rmplc.co.uk> (Leamington Elders Line) WARWICK England Tel: (0) (44) 1926 401 720 ==================================
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